Mind Traps

We are very well versed in those behaviours that make us successful – one of the virtues we often laud is PERSISTENCE. Everyone knows that it is necessary to persist to achieve, even when the going gets tough. But what about when we persist too long? Do you know of anyone who is blessed with the ability to persist to amazing levels? Very impressive, until we take it to another level and persist beyond where we are winning, but into a space where we wont let ourselves move on when it is time. Be careful of the mind trap that stops you from discerning the difference between persistence and careful decisioning as to when it is more useful to walk away. Don’t allow yourself to become a martyr rather than take the necessary actions to fix a situation that might be irreparably broken. Consider your options and reflect on what the appropriate actions are for you to meet your visions and goals and be strong enough to discard those endeavours that are not going to help you achieve anything other than being able to congratulate yourself on your persistence. Consider reading “Mental Traps” by Andre Kukla to find out more

My Musings

Focus on your strengths

Have you ever been given feedback on your strengths and your development areas? Why is it that we tend to pass over the praise and focus in on the areas where we perceive ourselves as weak? Really capitalising on your strengths is a much more positive and successful way to develop yourself – learn to make the most of what your talents are and find ways to complement yourself in the areas that you are not strong. No-one is an Olympic allrounder. Rather, lets allow ourselves to excel at our talents rather than putting all our efforts into slightly improving an area where we are always likely to have a deficiency. Read books by Marcus Buckingham to learn more about this

My Musings

In the traffic this morning, i saw a bumper sticker on a bakkie in front of me that said : ‘ Do you have the guts to go first?’ What is it that makes some people take the lead, carry on or stand out when everyone else is hanging back or worrying about what everybody else might think? Social conformity and the ability to understand another’s opinion is very important in society, but when it holds us back from considering new, better ways , it can limit our own and in fact, human potential in general. Run your own race, be bold and create a better world for all of us!

My Musings

When is the last time that you risked something? When did you last say or do something that scared you? Lets remain alive and present and consider the words of Leo Buscalglia: “to laugh is to risk appearing a fool, to weep is to risk appearing too sentimental, to reach out for another is to risk involvement, and to expose feelings is to risk exposing one’s true self. To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss, to love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk despair, to try is to risk failure. But all risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing has nothing, is nothing. If we avoid risk we may avoid suffering and sorrow, but we simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live. “

My Musings

Listening is a much required and necessary skill for coaching, managing and parenting but is incredibly hard to do when our own opinions are so loud in our heads. When we truly want to engage with another and put their needs first, it is necessary to step outside of the noise and be present in their world first and then later consider how we feel about what they are saying. This leads to another feeling ‘heard’ and not just ‘listened at’. Ernesto Spinelli speaks of ‘being absent so that another can be present’ . Try it and discover how honouring another person in this way leads to a much more creative and significant level of conversation.

My Musings

Every day we are faced with our existence – take the kids to school, back to the job or the home and spend time with our spouse...cook, watch tv etc etc...When we become familiar with things, we can lose the wonder – when is the last time you really thought about what is wonderful in your life – that would break your heart if they were not there, or if you could never see them again? Write down something that is really important to you and do something today that will honour and ensure that the special gifts in your life are appreciated.

My Musings

Choice is a very important word for me – even when we don’t make a choice, we choose... how do you relate to choice? Have you chosen the life that you are living or is life just happening to you? The wonder of being human is you do have a choice – activate yours.

My Musings

Whilst at the airport, I became aware of the different languages being spoken around me and realised how limiting it is to understand only 2 or 3 of the languages spoken in the world – just imagine how much easier it would be to deal with diversity if we could speak even 100 words of a colleague or friend’s language? I challenge you to learn 100 words in another language this month – see how it affects those around you and how people light up and open themselves when you make the effort to speak to them in their own tongue

My Musings